Monday Mantra

One Mile at a Time

After 6 weeks of forced rest, I was finally allowed to run a mile this weekend. As excited as I was to get out there running again, even if only for a mile, I was also really nervous. What if I couldn't do it? What if my hip hurt or my hamstring hurt? What if I wasn't ready and I set my recovery back? So many "what ifs". And then I stumbled upon an incredible video on Scott's site, iRunnerBlog, and I was quickly reminded of my goals and why I'm fighting so hard to get back out there.
How incredible is that video?!? Aside from just needing to run for my sanity and because I love it, I can't wait to run through the streets of NYC on November 6th with the entire city cheering. I love this city!!!

I woke up Saturday am, giddy with excitement to head out for my one mile. Just as I promised Krista, my physical therapist, I stretched lightly and headed to the dirt track by my apartment. This is the track where I found the courage to take my runs off the treadmill and outside in public. I ran on this track for my first few weeks of running outside, have watched many sunsets from this track and worked out a lot of crap in my mind on this track. I figured it was the perfect place to see how much progress I've really made.

I ran half a mile in one direction and then turned and ran in the other for the second half. The great news? No pain! My hamstrings felt fine, no pain in my hip. I have no idea how fast I ran because I left my garmin at home so I could just focus on how my body felt. The crappy news? It was hard. I don't remember a mile run ever being this difficult but I'm sure when I first began, it must've been. Breathing was the most difficult and there was a moment when I only had a lap to go when I thought "I can't even run a mile. How will I be able to run 26.2 in November?" And then I told myself, "1 mile at a time Erica." I'm pretty sure back when I first started running, each additional mile was easier and easier. I just need to remember that and keep on running one mile at a time. Tonight, Krista is going to have me run on the treadmill so she can evaluate my form. I'm sort of excited to see what she has to say. And I can't wait to tell her I've been pain free since my run!

When I woke up Sunday morning, G asked me how my hip and hamstring felt. Until he asked me, I forgot there was a reason that it might even hurt. I'm taking that as a good sign. So with 10 weeks to go until the NYC Marathon, I'm moving forward with my training and still planning on running it. I did my second "long run" on the elliptical last night. Two full hours, 16 miles, loads of fun (yes, that is sarcasm you detect). I'm extremely grateful for my meditation practice because if I couldn't meditate through most of this workout, I'm not sure I would've completed the entire two hours. Since at this point in my training calendar, I would have been running for at least that long, I decided to make it my goal. I also attempted to push my lungs and heart a bit more by increasing the intensity to 12 for a portion of the workout, and it definitely made a difference. By the time I got home last night, I felt like I had run 16 miles. My legs were jello and I was rungry! I loved it. Here's my workout summary from last night. I can't stand that the machine won't let you go past 60 minutes so I had to do two workouts in a row. The man next to me started laughing when he saw me start the machine again. At least someone got a kick out of it.

So that's where I stand right now. Once I get Krista's feedback tonight, and find out the next steps for my running, I'll put together a 10 week training schedule and will post it here. I'm hoping you'll stop by and help out a bit, give me some feedback, etc...  In the meantime, I'd love to hear what's going on in your running world. How's training going? Excited? Anxious? How was your long run this weekend? Please, I could use as much motivation and inspiration as you're willing to give so leave some ink!

Monday Mantra

Feeling Fortunate

I can't stop smiling; life feels pretty awesome. Two pieces of great news have me feeling fortunate and grateful.

First, I had another great PT session last night and Krista is really pleased with how I'm progressing. We started the hour with the normal stretching & deep massaging and then she had me do some side to side exercises drills to see how they felt. I had no pain while doing the exercises which she said was an excellent sign. Yay me! We then discussed the next steps and here's awesome news part 1: I get to run tomorrow! Krista's given me permission to try to run one mile at the dirt track by my apartment. Before I begin, I have a bunch of warm up moves I'm supposed to do including the side to side drills and some lunges and squats. I also have to walk around the track once to get my muscles moving and can then jog for a mile. Not more, not even if I feel great. If I feel any pain at all during the workout, I will stop without hesitation. There's no way I'm taking a chance at undoing my progress and moving backwards. I'm doing everything in my power to get better as soon as possible and refuse to do anything to jeopardize my progress.

And now for good news part 2: I have a new baby niece!!! Baby girl was born early this morning in England and from the picture I saw a few minutes ago, she's absolutely beautiful. I can't wait to meet her. And I cannot believe my big brother has five daughters! Looks like I need to plan a trip to England pretty soon to see these four girls and their new little sister.

I can't think of a better way to start the weekend. Great news, a new niece and lots of hope. I don't think I've ever posted on the weekends but I just might have to write a short one tomorrow after my run to let you know how it went. Wish me luck!

Any exciting news in your world? Something you're looking forward to this weekend?

My Butt Doesn't Hurt!!!

Funny title for a blog post perhaps, but it's true and I'm really ecstatic about it: my butt doesn't hurt. I can't remember the last time I didn't feel a sharp pain running from my right glute down through my hamstring. Last week, I learned that the pain has been a result of some major tendonitis in my hamstring and I've been following my PT's instructions down to a T. She must be brilliant because it seems to be working! I've been doing my exercises, training on the elliptical (12 miles on Sunday as my long "run"), swimming, strenghening my core and stretching lightly instead of trying to tear my muscles apart. Krista (my PT deserves a name) was really happy with my progress Monday evening and started working out the pain in my tush. Mid appointment, it started to disappear. I was shocked. I forgot what it felt like to not be in pain. When I walked to the bus to get home that night, and then went for a swim, I did my best not to aggravate my right glute... and a few days later, it still feels pretty awesome. Yay for my right butt cheek!

My PT experience, in fact this entire experience, thus far has me thinking about my body and my control over it. The night I received my MRI results was a horrible night and I remember thinking "I'm angry at my body. My body let me down." The next day, I was on the phone with G and told him how I felt. His response? "Don't you think maybe you let your body down?" And I realized he had a point. For months my body was telling me to stop and take care of it; it was screaming "I'm in pain!!!" but I ignored it's pleading and kept running, kickboxing, and a gazillion other activities that were overworking my muscles. Finally, enough was enough, and my right leg refused to work. I tried to run but it wouldn't move without excrutiating pain. And now my dream of running the NYC Marathon this year might be ruined because I didn't listen to my body.

Baker tweeted these words of wisdom and I can only hope that folks who needed to see the message, saw it and listened.

I wish someone had tweeted this message months ago but let's be honest, I probably wouldn't have listened anyway. So I'm going to take this opportunity to ask, beg, plead, insist that if you are in pain, please listen to your body and don't let it down. Rest. And if that doesn't help, go to a doctor and get it checked out. And if that doesn't help, take it a step further and get an MRI. I currently have two friends who didn't listen to their bodies either. One is now nursing a hip fracture, the other her shin. One missed her goal half marathon for this summer, the other is in the same boat as me for NYCM.

And this message goes to everyone, whether you're a runner, a cyclist or just love to sit on your butt, watch TV and eat Cheetos. Two years ago, a person whom I cared about very much, had lower back pain that wouldn't go away. He thought it was a sports injury and for weeks he rested and nursed the injury. It wouldn't go away. His brother insisted he get an MRI, assuming he had herniated discs. He didn't. He had multiple tumors in his kidneys, cancer that had already spread to his bones was causing his lower back pain. He passed away 11 months later, the day after his 41st birthday. His disease was silent until it was too late. But you never know when you might find something in time, might be able to save yours or someone else's life by a visit to the doctor when you're body is telling you something isn't right. Please people, listen.

I accompanied G to an event on a boat last night and took this beautiful picture of the Statue of Liberty just after the sun had set. I commented on how beautiful it looked and G said it reminded him of marathon morning, taking the ferry to Staten Island the morning of the race. I hope the next time I'm this close to Lady Liberty is on the Staten Island ferry on November 6th, 2011. We'll see...

Monday Mantra

Back in the Day

My, how times have changed...

This Pity Party is Over

and the saga continues...

I've lost count of how many weeks it's been since I've been able to run, but maybe I just don't want to look at the calendar because I really don't want to know. I do know that there's less than 90 days until the NYC Marathon and my chances of running this year are now slim to none.

I got my MRI results Tuesday evening and after discussing with my physical therapist, it's clear that the marathon is a long shot. The images showed significant tendonitis in my right hamstring and a tiny tear in my hip labrum.  Here are some lovely images of my right hip in which you can see two things going on.

In this first image, I've pointed out my hammie. That black space around it is the inflammation. Ouch. When my PT first touched the back of my leg, she said the muscles felt like a bit of a mess back there so this was no surprise. We think the initial trauma occured during last year's marathon. I dropped something during mile 16, bent down to pick it up, and felt a sharp pain go through my hamstring. It then continued to cramp here and there for the remaining 10 miles of the race. There's a possibility that I damaged it then, continued to run on it, and as a result, it didn't heal right. Since then, the surrounding muscles have been overcompensating, everything is tight and is pulling on my knee, my ankle and my hip. The good news is that this can all be fixed by going to PT, strengthening the surrounding supporting areas, and resting the areas that need to chill out. I'm now allowed to do elliptical, but need to keep it slow so that I don't aggravate the tendonitis. I'm also swimming about 5 times a week now and am relieved to find that it helps clear my head and keep me sane as much as running does.

This second picture is of my right hip socket, and a tiny tear in my hip labrum. The labrum is a ring of tissue surrounding the socket that keeps the head of the femur from slipping out. The good news is that the tear is really small and it's likely that it occured years ago during my ballet years. It's more than likely that the pain that's stopped by from running has nothing to do with the tear because I don't have any symptoms of a tear like groin pain, clicking or snapping in my hip, or limitied motion. And when the PT presses my hip to pinpoint the location of the pain, it's not near the labrum. So it seems that this tear won't impact my running, as long as it doesn't tear further. But that means it would be a bad idea to do anything that would tear it more like kickboxing, ballet, and certain deep yoga poses. And that sucks for me.

When I got the news Tuesday night, and it hit me that NYCM might not happen this year, I was pretty devastated. I cried a bit in the office, cried on my way to the gym, cried as I did laps in the pool (which is very difficult I might add), and cried in bed when I got home. Sad, angry, frustrated are all words that came to mind. I realized that I couldn't go on in this foul mood but I couldn't avoid it all together, so gave myself a 24 hour pity party allowance. For an entire day, I walked around like a cranky bitch with a frown on my face. I took it out on my friends, and was a total bitch to some very special people (sorry about that).

And then I ended the pity party and went on with my life. Actually, I did better than that. I ended the party early, headed to Central Park to say hello to some friends who were about to do workout (even though I couldn't join them), and then headed to the gym for elliptical, the bike, and a swim. I refuse to allow my body to get weak and am noticing it getting even stronger since this injury has taken me out of the running game. Laps in the pool are getting easier and easier and I find myself wishing I could swim every day.

me at the pool, my new happy place

So here's the plan. I'm not giving up just yet. I know NYCM is a long shot but I'm not ready to throw in the towel. I'm going to continue PT, follow her instructions like it's my religion, and try to get my muscles all better. I'm going to train on the elliptical, following my marathon training plan as best as possible, to keep my heart and lungs strong and in marathon shape. And I'm going to swim and work on my core as cross training. When I get the go ahead to run, I'm going to run to see what I've got in me. And I'll train for the race. It may mean that I'll find out the race isn't possible during the first week, second, third or even a month week of running. But maybe I'll find out that I can run 26.2 miles without injuring myself and while still feeling happy and strong. Like I said, I know it's a long shot but I have plenty of time to decide so why give up now.

Today is a rest day. I have PT tonight and then I'll head to Jack Rabbit on the Upper East Side for Ali's fundraising event. But looking forward to getting back on the elliptical tomorrow!

Monday Mantra

Things That Make Me Go :)

Rather than take the bus, I decided to walk thru Central Park to get to my MRI this morning. I had a 7:30 appointment, so I decided to leave at 6:30, grabbing a cup of coffee on the way, and made it a leisurely stroll. It was difficult... the weather was cool and a bit breezy, perfect for an early morning run and the park was packed with runners & cyclists. For a brief moment, I was jealous. I miss running, miss the feeling of running through the breeze, breathing in the air, watching the park trees go by. To take my mind off all I was missing, I decided to make another list of all what is making me go :) right now. So here it is:

1. The beach. I've been twice so far this summer, more than last when I spent most of my time kayaking. Both days were clear & sunny, the water was refreshing, and I had awesome company and a cooler full of ice cold water and delicious fruit (aka nature's candy). What could be better. I love the beach.

2. Swimming. Yeah, I know I've already written about my new found love of swimming but I just can't get over it! It's a whole different experience than running, which will always be my true love. But swimming makes me feel strong and I get excited just thinking about it.

3. My inspiring customers. I engraved race bling to celebrate a runner's 50k and 40 mile races. How cool is that? Kick ass women!

4. Supportive and encouraging friends and family. I'm not sure I'd be handling my forced rest from running so well if it weren't for the awesome people in my life reminding me of what's important. I've gotten some great pep talks, and for the most part, no one has told me not to do the marathon; they just tell me to wait and see what happens. As a runner, it's really annoying when people tell you that you can't or shouldn't do what you love to do. I'm grateful that people have been encouraging. Thanks peeps!

5. My tofu express. I LOVE this silly little contraption! I eat tofu on a pretty regular basis and like it best when it's dense and chewy so I always press out the water. In the past, I've done this by putting the tofu on a cutting board, placing another cutting board on top, and then piling books or canned goods on top to apply pressure. Halfway thru the process, I typically hear a crash in my kitchen; the books or cans fall over, tofu juice is everywhere, a big giant mess. I was hesitant to buy the tofu express because with shipping it would cost me $50 but I bit the bullet, and began using it the minute I removed it from its packaging. I'm happy to announce it was definitely worth buying, although I still think it's too expensive (I'm frugal, what can I say), and I've used it lots already. I pressed some tofu last night and I'm hoping to use it in a Noodle & Veggie dish with peanut sesame sauce in the next day or two. Hoping it'll be delicious enough to post the recipe here!

6. Trader Joe's. When I first left my job in the wonderful world of fashion to start my own business, I figured I'd have all the time in the world to cook healthy & delicious meals every day. It seems I was wrong. Not having a set schedule means feeling like there's always work to do or errands to run, and cooking meals has fallen off my to do list way too often. Lucky for me, Trader Joe's opened across the street this year and it's made my life so much easier. I'm a huge fan of buying their prepared foods, and then jazzing them up a bit to cater to my taste buds. Lately, one of my go to meals is their Gazpacho. For $3 a container, I get two meals. I just divide the soup into two portions, add some avocado, chopped mango and fresh cilantro, maybe a sprinkle of sea salt, and have the perfect refreshing summer meal. Yay for TJ's!

7. Time. Whoever first said "time heals" was a genius. It's so true. I've been thinking a lot about who I was a year ago and I'm amazed and grateful at how well time has healed. A year ago, I was nursing a broken heart, trying to make new friends after realizing that some no longer belonged in my life, and was training for my first marathon. And now my heart is healed and beyond happy, I have incredible new friends, many of whom I met thru running, and I can proudly call myself a marathoner. I walk down the street with a smile on my face, am in a great mood way more often than not, and am usually pretty comfortable in my own skin. Life feels so good. What a difference a year makes.

So tell me, anything making you :) lately? Leave a comment and let me know. I'd love to hear from you!

95 Days Until NYCM....

... and it's now almost three weeks since I've been able to run. I haven't given up hope just yet. I don't know if that means I'm naive, delirious or just not very smart but a voice inside keeps telling me that this race might still be possible.

I went for Ortho appointment #2 last week and it's been decided that an MRI and PT are the next steps. After this examination, the doctor felt that I might actually have a problem with my Sacroiliac (SI) joint which probably occurred during last year's marathon. Since then, I've assumed that the pain in my right butt cheek was just a really bad knot that caused pain when I bent down, or ran up hills. The months of deep tissue massages, mineral salt baths, and rolling around on tennis balls & foam rollers wouldn't have helped what I thought was a knot but is actually damage to this joint, located between the sacrum & ilium of the pelvis. To compensate for the pain, I've adjusted my running form and as a result, injured my hip. I'm hoping that this week's MRI confirms this diagnosis, that it's not something serious, and that the PT which I'm beginning tonight will make everything all better.

In the meantime, my parents gifted me with a gym membership to one that has a pool so I could afford to swim a few times a week. Who knew I loved swimming so much? I joined the gym yesterday, did 7 miles on the elliptical last night, and swam 650 meters or .4 miles this morning. I feel strong, my mind is clear again, and although I still want to desperately run, I'm no longer going insane. I'm grateful.

The beautiful pool where I've been getting my swim on!

A pretty incredibly special person gave me a little pep talk this weekend and I've tried to focus on their words whenever I get down about my injury. They reminded me that I'm a marathoner, I've run a marathon before and I will run one again. But right now, I need to listen to my body and keep it safe so that I don't do any permanent damage, so that I can run again. And if it isn't this year, it won't be the end of the world and 2012 will be the year that I finally make my dream come true. My mind is strong, my body is strong and I'm in great shape. Until I have my MRI, I will keep working towards my goal in whatever capacity my body allows me and once I have more information, I'll make the decision that's best for me. Smart words coming from a fellow marathoner. I'm a very lucky girl to have people like that in my life.

So like I said, first PT session is tonight. I'm really excited to get started, to finally do for my body what I probably should've done long ago- to get smart and take care of it. People have asked me when my doctor will give me the go ahead to run again and I find the question sort of funny because I haven't been waiting for that. I've been waiting for my body to tell me that it's okay to run again. I'm hoping the message comes soon. In the meantime, I'm going to keep on keeping on.... and hope for the best.

Monday Mantra